Dear Jack,

First day of 2nd year of preschool

You are such a handsome devil.  The above picture of you has to be my very favorite.  After having a rough first year of preschool with Miss Amy, I decided a change was in order.  This year I put you in "I Can Do It Myself" which is more in downtown Payson, but I have heard for years of how good it is.  We are now one month in and you tell me all the time how much you love your new "big preschool."  After not learning one thing last year, you are already saying letter sounds left and right this year.  Maybe it is just with age, but I am a believer in this preschool.  I wish I would have put all my kids in for 2 years, but oh well.  You have homework pages every week (which you are actually loving and want actually want to do each night) and I can already see a difference.  It is so exciting and I am so grateful I was prompted for the change.

You are still a stubborn little guy when you want to be, and are learning to be more independent.  You like to help the kids unload the dishwasher and actually do a pretty decent job.  You want to put on your seatbelt and pour your own milk.  You can entertain yourself for the most part and get yourself a snack from the pantry without problems.

Since our cancellation of Netflix, you have discovered the video clips on NickJr.com and you have just recently learned how to use the computer mouse.  Needless to say, you love to watch shows and play games on the kids' computer while I am beside you working on my computer, and have lately told friends you don't want to play so you can keep playing.  Speaking of friends, you still like to play with Christian, Matthew and Adam, but we have found out the hard way that three's a crowd and you have been opting to stay home instead more and more.

At Mapleton's 4th of July celebration, your name was the first one called out of your age group to win a free bike.  I was so shocked because we never win anything and you just plain didn't know what was going on.  I had to carry you kicking and screaming up to claim your bike.  The announcer even commented, "He is crying he is so happy."  ha ha ha..  Once you settled down enough for me to tell you what was happening you were very excited, as I knew you would be.   In fact, you are getting very good use out of it, riding it about every day.  

A few weeks ago when as a family we went to through the Odgen Temple open house, they wanted to put booties on over our shoes and you threw a fit and ended up kicking down on the ground.  The ushers kindly told us you could just take your shoes off and wear socks and so that is what we finally did to calm you down and get you happy again.  You sure are particular about some things and I never seem to know what will set you off. 

You love Emmi and she is your favorite of your siblings to play with.  You also seem to be hers right now and I love how kind you are to each other.  Your other favorite pal is of course Birdie, and she sure does put up with a lot from you.  You like to act like she is your pillow and constantly try to lay on her, even though she usually ends up trying to nip you.  

You have picked up phrases such as "What da heck?" and "Oh, my gosh" which usually gets a good chuckle from any adult who hears you, but my favorite has to be your word for shoelaces... "shoe-tails."  I have no idea where you picked that one up, but I love it, especially in your little raspy, lispy voice.  You have fallen in love with the book "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" from school and you want your dad to read you our copy at least once before bedtime. I love you buddy.

Love, 
Mom

Boating with Grandma and Grandpa Hunsaker

BYU fall scrimmage

Children's Museum

Dear Sam,

**Dear Friends and Family -  I have debated about whether or not to post this sensitive post.  Because it is a private blog and I know all my friends and family will be respectful, I have gone ahead.  I would heartily appreciate your prayers for Sam.

My sweet boy, how I love you.  I have always known that you were a sensitive little guy, and had such a tender heart underneath that rough-and-tumble exterior.  I have seen some hints of anxiety in you the last couple of years, but I was desperately hoping that you would not turn out like me.  You also have been struggling staying focused in school since Kindergarten, and I started to think just recently that you might have some ADD.  I have hated to see you struggle, Sam.  I knew that I had to do something to help.  So, I went ahead and took you to the pediatrician, and also set up some testing with your school's counselor just to see if my hunch would be right.  We all were in agreement that it was ADD, and some medication was given to try and help you at school.

But along the way, anxiety has taken over.  When I say anxiety, I don't mean just being nervous.  Everybody has that kind of anxiety every now and then.  I am talking about waking up in the morning in tears, shaking, crying and throwing up your breakfast on the way out the door for over a week.  The one day that you didn't throw up before school, you walked into the school, headed straight to the bathroom, and threw up.  I know this, because I was outside the bathroom door.  The only way I can get you to go to school is if I drive you myself, and go inside with you.  Any good parent would see that this is a problem.  With my history, I sadly knew what you were experiencing, and knew that I needed to find help.

Most anyone would also guess that the problem is school, and that you are afraid of being at school, but I know better.  You are fine after you arrive, love your teachers and class, and have a happy smile whenever I peek my head inside your class during the day.  It is the act of going to school that is causing you fear.  I know that sounds silly to a lot of people, but I get it, and I think other people with anxiety do too.  This morning I took you to a family therapist, Dr. Williams, who was so wonderful, and very close to home.  He was just the guy that I was praying for, and the one that I think will be able to help both of us.  

When I realized that you really do have anxiety like I do, I can't tell you how sad that made me.  I knew that my kids would be prone since I have struggled with anxiety and it is genetic, but I was hoping that it would pass us by.  I would not wish the fear and anxiety that have plagued me for almost as long as I remember on anyone, especially my sweet kids.  I am so sorry Sam, really I am.  

The one bright spot in all of this hit me this morning, as you and I were listening to Dr. Williams.  It is, that I am grateful that you do not have to go through this alone.  Dr. Williams is aware of my own anxiety, and so I am to be at all of your appointments, learning how to help you with your anxiety, and along the way, to help myself.  I can see this bringing us even closer as we both learn how to deal with anxiety together. We will be able to understand each other, and even reassure each other when needed.  Already, seeing you face your fears every morning has given me courage.  I was so proud of you this morning as you were able to keep your toast and medication down.  It was the first time you hadn't thrown up or cried before school in over a week! You have had such great progress in only a few short days.

I also have a wonderful feeling about Dr. Williams, and the great things that you will be able to overcome and do with the help of his care.  He is convinced that the root of your trouble in school is not ADD, but the anxiety, and I am hoping that that will turn out to be the case.  For now, we will take each day as it comes.  I wanted to do this post mainly because I want us to be able to look back on these days, and see how far you have come.  I believe in you, and are so very proud in how well you have handled this.  We will get through this together.  I love you, son, and I know that you have a lot of friends and family who love you and will undoubtedly pray for you as well.

Love,
Mom

Dear Keaton,

Not surprisingly, you were very easy-going with the change in schools this year.  You seemed to be content with either school that I put you in, and I was so grateful for your trust.  Not surprisingly either, you are doing remarkably well at APA.  I am your room mom so I know both of your teachers pretty well.  They love you in their class and are very quick to tell me so.  They tell me you are an absolute sweetheart and never give them any problems, which is totally your character.  You have already been moved up a math level, and are loving every minute of school.  I think you look so handsome in your uniform, and I love how you have never complained once about the white shirt and tie every single day.

We were going to have you stop piano and start taking guitar with Sam at the end of the month, but you recently told me that you wanted to stay in piano, and I am secretly very happy about this.  You are doing so well in piano, and I hated to think you would not be progressing in it anymore.  I love the sounds of the piano when you are practicing, and see you get better week by week.

You just earned your Weblos badge in scouts, and it looks like you will be getting your Arrow of Light next month! I can't believe you are almost out of Cub Scouts.. crazy!

You (and Sam) are totally into Minecraft right now, and sometimes that is all I hear you talk about. You are hoping for an Xbox for Christmas so you don't have to play Minecraft on my computer.  I love how you will cover every snack in peanut butter, sneak in to sleep in Jack's bed every night, sing the hymns with me in church every Sunday, and can be caught reading in the big chair without being asked.

You are such a good kid, and I am so very proud of you.  I love you, son.

Love, 
Mom

Dear Emmi,

Dear Emmi, 

Those first few days and even weeks of school were so hard on you.  You left that first morning looking so cute, but you called me crying from the office that day, wanting me to come and get you.  I hated the tears in the morning getting ready the next couple of days, and it broke my heart to send you anyway.  I was so happy to see you like it more and more little by little.  We don't have the tears now, and I find it funny that your only real complaint is that it is "too long."  Coming from Kindergarten, that is very understandable you would say that.  Already you have gotten used to it.  

I love how you tell me about P.E., which you have twice a week now, and how you "killed the red team" every week.  I love how you eat all your vegetables and fruit in your lunch and don't eat your sandwich, how you somehow manage to come home every day with what looks like chocolate milk spilled down your blue dress, the songs that you have been learning and sing to me every night such as "The Ants Go Marching," how out of the blue on the way to school the other morning you said "my favorite part of school is rocket math!!" with your fist in the air, and how all the teachers that watch me drop you off from school look at me and say how adorable you are.  

I will never forget the morning I took you and your brothers to the bus stop to ride into school, with the idea being I would just be picking you up in the afternoons.  You were crying before we even got there, but I had hoped you would settle down when you got on the bus.  You rode buses all year last year, so it was not a new thing.  But no, the bus driver was somehow in no hurry and you all sat there on the bus for what seemed liked hours.  I could see you sitting with your brothers, still crying and waiting.  It broke my heart to see you still crying as the bus pulled away, and the scared look on your face.  That was the first and last time you have rode the bus this year.  

I did not put you in dance this year either, and pulled you from gymnastics.  You didn't want to be there unless I was there with you, and had your share of meltdowns at gymnastics this summer. I realized that with a new school this year and all day, I didn't want to overwhelm you and thought this was a good time to take a break.  I am very glad I did just that, since school seemed to be hard enough in the beginning.  I will miss seeing your cute smile on stage in a recital, but you have plenty of years ahead for that if you want to.

Sometimes I just want to squeeze you.  You are just so adorable.  I love your toothless smile, and how you will tell me how cute your smile is.  I love your cute curly head, and your feistyness.  

Love, 
Mom

Dear Keaton,

Dear Keaton, 

What would I do without you.  You are always so quiet and so good.  You make a lot of people (teachers) worry that you don't like them because of how quiet you are.  I have to keep telling everybody that it is simply your personality.  I think you talk more at home then you do anywhere else, and you really don't talk that much at home.  I find you reading in the recliner, playing the Wii, or your iPod most of the time.  You do like to play with friends, but you don't mind being left alone either.  I can't believe you are 10 years old and a Weblos scout! It makes you sound so old to me.  

I love this picture of you in your mask that you made at school.  Your class put on some "fractured fairy-tales" and me, Emmi, and Jack got to come and watch.  I couldn't believe you had a big speaking part in your play, and I could hear you better than I thought I would.

As a family, we have lately been playing a game called Book of Mormon Battles for family night.  It is your favorite, and you ask to play it every week.  You make me smile though.  Lately, you have no luck and seem to get out first every week.  You are a pretty good sport about it, but I can tell that you really want to win.  You make us all laugh at how into the game you get.  I am afraid you are competitive like both of your parents.  I love you so much.

Love, 
Mom

Dear Sam,

Dear Sam,

I can always count on you to make me smile.  I can't tell you how much I cherish this sweet frame with picture that you made and brought home for me for Mother's Day.  I love your big hugs and little love notes that I always find from you.  You are such a tenderhearted little boy, and I hope you never change.  

Me and your Dad got to attend your 2nd grade Patriotic Program, and I loved it! You sang all of my favorite patriotic songs, and at some points I even got goosebumps.  I was glad to see you sing them big and loud, more so than I have seen you sing in the primary programs.  You know the songs, and hopefully feel the great spirit that is in them.  I am so proud to be an American, just like the song says, and I am grateful for your teachers who teach you these songs and start a seed of patriotism in you. 

Baseball season has started once again, and this year you are officially out of T-ball and into coach pitch.  I am impressed how well you have done at the games so far without your glasses, (hopefully the new pairs will get here soon enough), especially considering the little amount of time we are able to practice with you.  You have a powerful swing and throw, we just need your Dad to go out there and teach you the rules. 

On Memorial Day, your Dad took you and Keaton hiking up Payson Canyon.  From what I have heard, and from how much you are asking to go again, I think you really like to hike, and it is so fun for me to see you boys doing something with your Dad that you all enjoy.  This last weekend was the father and sons camp-out and although you didn't get a chance to go hiking, you did get outdoors with your dad and brothers, and again, had a good time together.  I hope you will come to realize how lucky you are to have your Dad, and will have many more hikes and other things with him.  You are a lot like him in many ways.  I love you so much.

Love,

Mom